13 Things you never wanted to know about Jack

Happy Friday the 13th ladies and gentlejunk! I hope you have some seriously horrific plans for the day! Today is one of those days where I feel like barfing up some strange and wondrous facts about meself. Yes, it’s a bit self serving, but hey — isn’t everything in this day and age a teeny bit self-serving? I kid! I kid the now — with love.

Anyway – let’s have some strange factoids about Jack. Straight from ze horses hoof ‘n mouth.

1. I have an irrational fear of getting lost. That’s right, if you want to drive with me make sure you have REALLY good directions. Me getting lost is like a transgendered rabbi at the Republican National Convention. It ain’t purdy!

2. I refuse to tuck in my shirts. Why? I guess the most logical explanation I can give is that it’s just uncomfortable. But really, I will not be seen as just another shirttucker! Down with the blue and khaki army!

3. I’d rather wear a kilt than pants. Let’s make a concerted effort to bring back to the kilt as standard apparel!

4. I don’t drink alcohol. I know, it’s crazy right? A writer that doesn’t imbibe? How is that possible? Is it possible? I’m not really sure. Oh wait, yes… I am sure. I do drink Diet Mountain Dew, which to same may as well be booze.

5. I believe the apocalypse will happen. It may not occur within my lifetime, but one of these days the CDC or some power-hungry organization will release something onto the planet that will morph us all into moaners and screamers!

6. The cinema is for movies. Theatre is for plays and musicals.

7. Because of the price of movie tickets at the (say it with me) cinema — a movie must be worth it! Because of that I have a rule: Cinema is for horror, sci-fi, and action. All movies that lose nothing in the translation from big screen to the small screen can be watched in the privacy of my own personal cinema (I call it “home”).

8. My all time, absolute, favorite snack-food item is peanut butter and graham crackers.

9. The Mexican restaurant mentioned in the Fringe Killer series (Bazos) is real and is my favorite place to eat.

10. When given the chance, I will always root for the underdog (Unless the Colts or Pacers are favored — in which case, all bets are off.) If peanut butter and graham crackers are in the mix (and are NOT an underdog) I will root for that — no matter what snack food item it is up against.

11. My all-time favorite TV shows are (in no certain order): Buffy, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother, Six Feet Under, Firefly, Bones, Nip Tuck, Lost, Fringe, X Files, The Lone Gunmen, MASH, Welcome Back Kotter, Sanford And Son, Battle Star Galactica (the reboot). I hope to add American Horror Story to that list some day.

12. Most of the shows I watched as a young boy centred around black characters and families: Sanford and Son, What’s Happenin’, The Jeffersons, Good Times, Welcome Back Kotter (If you count Vinny “Boom Boom” Washington).

13. I’m not monstrous tall. I can be monstrous loud...and monstrous fun.

but I’m not a monster.


Can I get a MUHAHA, my lovelies?