As you might expect, I’m a big fan of The Walking Dead. It’s a great series illustrating so many levels of what the zombie apocalypse will bring to the human race. Oh sure there are cringe-worthy moments that make us zombie authors think “Oh, why didn’t they consult me?” 😉
But for the most part, this AMC series is dead on. But there is one surprise that has developed over the first season and a half — one that might make many of you cringe, or at least wonder why in the hell you spent all that money on education!
After the first five episodes of the second season of TWD, it seems one character (and only one character) really gets it, really understands what it takes to survive the zombie apocalypse. That character? Daryl Dixon (played to the nines by Norman Reedus).
I can hear your doubt and see your look of consternation now. But here me out, before you ‘pish posh’ me out of sight and mind. Let’s look at the facts.
Factus Oneus: Daryl Dixon carries a crossbow. It’s silent. It’s deadly. And it smells like … sorry, wrong SBD. Think about this. Although guns are an effective means of permanently dismissing the undead, they are also noise makers. The last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself. Remember, even though zombies have a reduced field of vision, they do still hear well. The phfft of an arrow? Ninja quiet.
Factus Twous: Daryl Dixon is a loner. This is one of the things Jacob Plummer espouses throughout I Zombie I. Travelling in packs will only bring some seriously unwanted attention. Stealth is your friend in the apocalypse and numbers more than one are less than stealthy. The red neck survivor gets this. And although he drops little hints, now and again, that he knows he’s part of the whole, he’s obviously more comfortable (and more effective) when on his own.
Factus Threeus: He’s not afraid to leave behind others. He proved this in season one. His uber redneck brother bites (pun fully intended) it on the roof and, although he does so with a level of anger, he walks away. The redneck only wants to survive, even if surviving means losing everyone and everything (‘ceptin’ his crossbow and trucker hat) along the way.
Factus Fourus: He doesn’t give a shit about getting all googoo eyes about a woman. For the redneck, in the apocalypse, life is about survival. The Daryl cares not for getting a bit of ass when in the getting, his own ass could wind up on the line. You think with your penis, you might as well hump a syphilis riddled whore and be done with it all.
As we all know (or should know, if we have any intention of surviving this nightmare), there are different types of rednecks. The redneck we’ve all come to know and trust, Daryl Dixon, is the survivalist. The Daryl redneck isn’t afraid to do anything it takes to survive. He’ll hunt, kill, and eat what he kills (even if it’s possum or skunk). The Daryl will shoot your face off (silently with his cross bow) if he thinks you’re against him.
Not exactly what you expected? When you think of the apocalypse, you think of the intelligent will be the ones to survive. Although in certain circumstances and circles, that may be the case. But truth be told, the Daryl will be more likely to survive the end of days far longer than the intelligentsia.
So … rethinking that application to MIT? Maybe spend that money more wisely on hunting and fishing lessons and season tickets to NASCAR? And with that, I give you the trailer for that 1980’s sick-o-fest, Redneck Zombies!
Yeehaw!
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