The Monster Cage Match: Freddy vs. Candyman


In the first bought of the Monster Mash, Freddy Krueger put a stop to any possible sparkly, shimmery vampire shenanigans. But this time, Freddy is up against a foe with considerably less teen appeal. Can Freddy defend the crown of bone and blood he currently wears atop is ragged and flensed head? Let’s find out.

The current king of filth and lies: Freddy Krueger

We all know (and some love) Mr. Krueger. That bastard son of a thousand maniacs has derailed the lives of characters played by Johnny Depp and Patricia Arquette (the blood bath continues to this day). But does Freddy and his sassy, hell-born mouth have it in him to go up against…

Candyman (as played by Tony Todd)

The legend states that while Candyman was the son of a slave, he became a well known artist. The young Candyman falls helplessly in love with a white woman and soon impregnates her. The bigoted town goes falls into a racist-rage and chases Candyman through the plantation. When his pursuers catch the young man, they cut off his drawing hand  and replace it with a hook (smart thinking there bigots!). The highly (insert sarcasm) intelligent townsfolk smear the be-hooked man with honey and chant ‘Candyman’ five times (hint — this is where the repetition of his name in the mirror comes). Finally, Candyman is stung to death by bees.

Do you sense evil about to happen? Well, it does — in the form of Candyman tormenting a young graduate student hell-bent on putting her nose too deep into the funk that is Cabrini Green.

Now, at this point I’d almost have to say that Helen (the graduate student) had balls enough to venture into Cabrini Green (at the “height” of its existence) which would make her capable of taking down Freddy alone. But this isn’t her fight.

Pros

  • The voice of Tony Todd
  • Had a sizable hook for a hand
  • Myth born of truest love killed by ignorance
  • Wasn’t limited to dreams
  • ‘Killer’ artist
  • Epic pimp coat
  • Loved both white and dark chocolate

Cons

  • Vulnerable to love
  • Raging sweet tooth
  • Suffered from Apiphobia (fear of bees)

It’s Hook vs. Claw here.  Both had a love for the female sex (only one choose a much more appropriate age to love) and both had to be drawn out of their realm before they would wreak havoc.

But I have to give this one to Candyman, for one very simple reason — Tony Todd’s voice. Few humans and monsters could go up against such basso profundo and survive. Sorry Freddy, but Candyman is your girlfriend now!

Next up? Candyman vs… now I can’t give away too much here! Come back Wed, October 24th to find out who Candyman must take down to continue on in the Monster Cage Match.