Humpday Horror: Mistakes made on The Walking Dead

I want to preface this by saying, I love the show. Not only is it giving credibility to a genre near and dear to my heart (as well as giving me the hopes that the I Zombie trilogy will someday soon make its way to the screen). So it is with great trepidation that I use the word “Mistakes” in the title. But there are just a few things I would like to point out that the show seems to overlook

I should also say that by “mistakes” I do not mean errors in production, gaffs in filming, flubs by actors, or continuity errors. What I mean is simply issues that might get the characters killed would they be caught in the middle of the real apocalypse. And again, I want to stress that nothing I am about to say distracts from enjoying the show. It’s quite well done. But being a writer of post-apocalyptic fiction, I have a close connection to the content and how the content is presented.

So, what are they doing wrong?

First and foremost, they have no plan. They seem to be flailing about with nothing to guide them. At any given moment, they will break out into small groups or even solo acts to tackle one task or another. Although Rick is the anointed leader, he’s not taking charge. This is only going to land them into a big bucket of zombie lunch box.

Someone in the gang needs to take control of the group before they “one off” themselves into oblivion.

Next in the line of issues is the carelessness with which they use their weapons. There’s a little thing called backsplash and they are letting it fly with zero consideration to where that soiled slick of fluids flies. Oh look, a little zombie juice flew up while I was relentlessly hacking away at that zombie, and splashed me in the eye! I’m not worried, I can only get infected if they bite me…right? Right????

Wrong! That fluid is just as likely to infect you as the saliva from a bit — maybe more so. If the characters are going to mulch the the bodies of the damned, they might want to consider (at least) a splash shield for their faces. Or, better yet, a full-faced helmet with a zombie theme! Don one of these babies and smash and bash away. Just make sure you don’t have any open sores that zombie smoothie you’re about to make can’t reach.

Go ahead, waste that amo! In the most recent episode it seemed everyone wanted to learn how to shoot a gun! Oh yay, joy, and huzzah! All those missed tin cans, bottles, and swinging logs? That’s amo you won’t get back. And I’m guessing you don’t have the means to make your own in that farm house? Okay, I know guns are not the perfect weapon for the slaying of zombies. They make noise, depend upon a solid shot, and are prone to running out of the things that actually make zombies go dead. But what’s worse than choosing a pistol as your weapon of choice, is opening up the practice range for anyone and everyone to spend that precious amo. Adding fuel to that fire is the noise made by each and every shot and “WOOHOO I done kilt that bottle!”

The needs of the one. Spock said it best when he said “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” Now I don’t want to come across as a heartless human (or a zombie posing as a human). But the gang has spent quite a lot of time searching for the little girl. In fact, they’ve gone out on solo missions, gone off in pairs (to actually coax someone into being a good shot and better lay), and just generally spent too much time searching for the little moppet. I Get it, they’re trying to save another member of the group and the sanity of the mother. But to what end? They lose Daryl and they lose their best survivor. It’s time to let it go.

Again, I’m not heartless. Or a zombie. I swear!

And that’s all I’ve got. Well, not all…how’s about a behind the scenes look at some The Walking Dead action? Does that make up for me insulting one of the best horror series to ever find its way onto the television screen? I thought so.

Suck it undead horde!