Hollywood remakes out of control: A solution

Raise your hand if you’re tired of Hollywood doing little more than remaking, rebooting and sequel’ing, prequel’ing. I see the vast majority of the movie-loving population did their best Arnold Horshack. That’s right — we’re all sick of Hollywood continually showing us they have nothing new up their sleeves.

This morning I woke up to read that Hollywood is remaking that old classic Stephen King film Carrie. This time around they want Chloe Moretz to play the Sissy Spacek roll. And why not? The girl is damn good. BUT — why in the hell do they think we want to see that classic film re-tooled? Oh sure the original is severely dated, but in the end every film finally dates itself. Even the scariest film ever made, The Exorcist, in some ways is dated. But does that detract from the horror it induces in the audience? Not at all.

Films are constantly being re-envisioned. Why? Hollywood is flat out of ideas. The only source of inspiration Hollywood is searching out is the glut of YA books. Why? Simple — they know these overly-hyped, popular titles will bring about screaming, crying, yelling teens ready to drop their coin for movie tickets and merchandise. Take Twilight for example. Mediocre books, horribly produced and acted films. Yet they made SERIOUS bank. Why? Teens.

Not that I’m against teens or teen films. What I am against is Hollywood overlooking a vast amount of possibility thanks to the boom of indie authors. There are countless new ideas out there just waiting for their chance to be known. And Hollywood would be remiss in only combing through the YA and/or Paranormal titles. There’s plenty of horror, comedy, fantasy, drama — and even some new genres being created every day. Why has Hollywood mostly ignored the tsunami of titles coming out of Amazon, Barnes & Noble (and other source)? I have no idea! But if Hollywood is to lose this retched reboot stigma they are suffering, there’s going to have to be more looking toward the future and less grasping onto the past.

And recently, there have been some seriously embarrassing and wrongful re-doings.

  • 21 Jump Street (Hello, it was never a goofy, slapstick comedy).
  • Dark Shadows (I love me some Burton/Debb films, but this looks like the film is flipping the original series the fang).
  • Fright Night (The charm of the original cannot be touched)

Honestly, there is but one film I can think of that I actually WANT to see remade — Hellraiser. How can I say that? Mostly because this project has the blessing (and desire) of its creator, Clive Barker. Outside of that, I can’t think of a single movie I’d like to see Hollywood remake. I can, however, think of films Hollywood better never dare touch:

  • Pretty In Pink (or any given John Hughs film)
  • The Crow (the original)
  • Desk Set (or any given Kate Hepburn film)
  • Running Man
  • Clockwork Orange

I love films. But Hollywood has simply run out of ideas. They’ve pretty much dredged the bottom of their barrel and are coming up with nothing now. Time to start harvesting new content and making some new writers incredibly happy. Take for instance me! We all know that Rob Zombie needs to seriously make the films for the I Zombie series. It’s a perfect match. And what about Shea MacLeod’s Sunwalker Saga, or M. Edward McNally’s Norothian Cycle? Perfect, and epic, stories for film. Smildoon by Alan Nayes and The Temple by Heather Marie Adkins? Perfect fodder for outstanding movies. And wouldn’t you just love to see any given PJ Jones’ parody on the silver screen?

Of course you would!

What about you? What do you think Hollywood needs to do in order to save it’s box office and its reputation? Is the only saving grace for the film industry indie films? It makes perfect sense. Hollywood must bank on the sure thing. But remember, John Cusack showed us there is no such thing as a Sure Thing.

At least with the indie crowd, the budgets are low enough that, should a film fail, an entire town isn’t going to go bankrupt. And, as we all know, indie is where its at!

Sound off below. Let’s help Hollywood solve their current blight in creativity.