Fabulous Friday: Star Wars vs. Star Trek vs. BSG vs. Firefly

My last Fabulous Friday (about the ever-glorious George Takei) inspired a new Fabulous Friday, one that I might well come to regret. I was wondering — in a fight to the death, who would win:

  • Star Wars
  • Star Trek
  • Battle Star Galactica (NOT the original series, but the reboot)
  • Firefly

This may well be one of the most challenging questions I’ve ever answered, but rest assured, the answer will be fabulous.

The biggest issue with such a question, is how one goes about quantifying four shows from different universes, different mythologies, and insanely hard-core fan bases?

With much caution… that’s how.

But I’m going to give it my smexiest shot. First, let me put on my Space Heels so I’m prepared for the fight.

Here’s the thing — each world has their “star ships”, their overriding mission, and weapons. One world has a psuedo religious super power (the Force) and another has a massive armada at its disposal. But…for the purpose of this blog (and my personal safety and sanity), I want to focus only on a single ship — that ship being the main ship of the series (and it’s crew). In other words:

  • The Enterprise
  • The Millennium Falcon
  • Battle Start Galactica
  • Firefly

Now, the first thing we want to do is weed out by ship. The first to go, as much as everyone is going to HATE this, is the Millennium Falcon. Why? The opening credits state very clearly “A long time ago…” AGO — as in past tense. Technology from the past simply cannot stand up to technology from the future. That’s like an audiophile listening to the same track on an 8 Track and then listening to it on an iPod (or my favorite, Samsung Fuze). The outdated tech loses.

Now we look at sheer mass of ship. As you can see, in the poster to the left, poor dear Firefly would almost be dwarfed by a Battlestar Galactia Raptor, so Firefly is out of the picture now.

But we can’t just look at size. Although size does matter…

Oh wait…wrong comparison!

I want to add to the comparison the commanding officers from the Battle Star Galactica and the Star Ship Enterprise (Picard, not Kirk — sorry). Now things get a bit complex. Although the Enterprise is a far more massive ship, Galactica has the tougher commander…not necessarily the smarter commander, but the tougher commander. I mean seriously – Adama kicked serious buttocks and always came back angrier and more determined. As much as I adored Picard, he could be a bit of a ponce at times.

There’s another wrinkle. Although heavily manned, the Enterprise is a ship alone. Oh sure, they have a shuttle or two, but what good is that going to do in a dog fight. The Galactica, on the other hand, had a squadron of Vipers and Raptors to launch at any given time. That effectively evens the score. So where do we go from here?

Supporting cast.

I haz banana clip!

This is pretty much a no brainer. The supporting cast on Galatica is a large portion of what remains of the human race. They have learned they must fight to the death to remain alive. They have been hardened by loss and have the tenacity of a pit bull. The supporting cast of Star Trek (TNG)? Not so much. Remove the phasers and you’ve nothing but a bunch of softies who depend upon Star Fleet and are bound by the Prime Directive.

So, the winner?

Battle Star Galactica. Hands down.

Understand this — I am a fan of all four shows. I am often quoted as saying Firefly was the best Scifi series EVER. But Battlestar Galactica is just one tough old bird. And I will say that both BSG and Firefly (especially Firefly) left the airwaves too soon. I wish they could have fought the networks as hard as they fought the Cylons and the Alliance (respectively). Had that happened, we’d still be enjoying two incredible scifi shows.

In the end, what really matters is we had so many years of amazing science fiction television. Hopefully we’ll be graced with something equally as special in the near future. Until then, let the heated discussions continue.

What do you think? If you had to say which of these four shows was the more fabulous, which would it be?