I was watching one of my favorite new comedies the other night, The New Girl (with recent Fabulous Friday award recipient Zooey Deschanel) when one of the characters referred to Thanksgiving as the least sexy holiday of all time. I have a few turkey friends that would beg to differ! So much so, they have begged me to show to my lovely readers and fans just how to turn Thanksgiving into Fabsgiving!
Let’s toss aside, just for a moment, the horrible things the founding fathers of this country did to the Native Americans — because that, my dears, is not even remotely Fabulous. In fact, that is the opposite of fabulous. But, for the purposes of making Thanksgiving fabulous, we must (temporarily) overlook that bit o’ history. So … how to make Fabsgiving?
Thanksgiving is a time for gathering. And mostly it’s about gathering with family. Yeah … therein lies problem number one. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for family (I have one myself). The idea of being among family embodies the spirit of the holiday season. But who’s family isn’t dysfunctional? And how long does it take before that dysfunction turns Thanksgiving into a tourniquette around your soul? Half a day? Couple of hours? Few minutes? It doesn’t have to be that way.
How? How in the Sam Scratch can you avoid the Hell Mouth from opening up and swallowing you whole as the never-ending parade of nieces, nephews, cousins, and those people you’ve never seen in your life pass by you for their third and fourth lap around the buffet? The first thing you must do, is just be better dressed than everyone else. That’s right … I know it’s shallow, but sometimes just looking fabulous can make ones day better.
I know, I know. “A ball gown for Thanksgiving?” True. For most people, thanksgiving is about one thing — gluttony. And with gluttony comes an expanding belly. Satin and expanding bellies do NOT go hand in hand. And you certainly can’t walk around with that dress unzipped all day.
What are you going to do about it? Where sweats? Maternity pants? Pulease!
Okay, I get it … it’s just not practical to wear a ball gown for Thanksgiving. How else can you turn Thanksgiving into Fabsgiving? Let’s see what we can come up with.
The Mix Tape
I know, many are too young to remember the Mix Tape, or maybe even the Mix CD (which should still be called the “Mix Tape” on principle alone). Now, I believe, we just create playlists. And what better way to turn a bad moment into a good moment than to drop some ridiculously Fabulous tunes on a gathering? Add to that, the joy of sharing your favorite tunes with your family members and you have the making for at least a temporary flux in the time-space SUCK! Drop a few fabulous beats into the room and get those family members bouncing.
Besides, who wouldn’t want to look as fabulous as Maria Brink while belting out toons like Prayers?
Nothing brings a group of people together like a good video game. And so many games are now geared toward multi-players. Break out some wacky dancing game and watch your parents or your grandparents make an absolute mockery out of current dance moves (or embarrass you because they haz more skillz than you!
“Suck it playah!” Screamed granny as she dropped her sick movez on the crowd.
The After Party
What party is complete without an after party? That’s right…go all How I Met Your Mother and have an after party ready and waiting on your apartment rooftop that will be totally off the Barney Stinson Hook Yo!
Why am I all of a sudden speaking urban?
Knowing you’ll be leaving the glutton-fest and heading for an awesome-fest can quickly turn a 180 on the moment. You’ll be practically dancing in your chair as you gobble down that Tryptophan treat. But if you are the one planning the after party, make sure you have total control of the awesomeness. Go anti-thanksgiving with it. Have a thanklessgiving party or a hatesgiving party. Better yet, a theme party where everyone must dress like their favorite Hipster. That alone would make you tres thankful for the who you are on a daily business. Those tight jeans and big-ass sunglasses are high maintenance. And the hair! You’ll spend all day getting that coif messed up just perfectly.
Speaking from my yummy spot
I want to wish all of my wonderful readers and fans a fabulous Thanksgiving. I know not everyone has a family to turn to, but for those that don’t, you can always consider me and all of my wonderful characters your family. Just don’t go all Deliverance on me and try to marry your sister daddy. ;-)And for those of you who don’t celebrate this America-centric holiday – I hope your day is as fabulous a day as you have ever experienced. May your hair be perfect, your walk be sexy, and your hose never run!