Would the apocalypse be all that bad?

Warning: This is a rant. I was chatting with a chum the other day about how smart phones have made people incredibly stupid. Don’t believe me? Sit at the intersection of a major stop light and count how many drivers have their faces buried in their “smart” phones. When the light turns green, check out the percentage of people that KEEP their eyes glued to those tiny screens yet press their gas pedal of their mult-ton monsters as if they could control those machines with their mind.

In what dimension is that smart? On what planet would those people be considered to help further the population?

You see where I’m going with this don’t you?

The world is filled with a lot of lovely, wonderful, intelligent, forward-thinking people. Okay, maybe “filled” is the wrong word. I was being nice. “Sprinkled” might be the better term. Those people have the wits about them (and the ability to recognize everything going on around them without having to glue their eyes to a smart phone) to continue on…

…even when the apocalypse bends the human race over and has its way with our back side.

For all of those with their heads buried in the selfish sand of “Look at me”, all of those with enough unwarranted self-importance to hope like hell they’ll get their fifteen minutes to shine on The Hording Bachelors of Survivor — the apocalypse will find a very special place for you. That special place will be death (or undeath, as it were).

That’s right, ladies and gents, as I glance around me and remember just how much lemming-like, stupidity there is out there, I realize the apocalypse might not be such a bad idea. Oh sure, those of us with wits enough to survive the initial “blast” will have to put up with the inevitable human-corpse mutations. And naturally we’ll all have to face down corporate or bureaucratic corruption that was probably responsible for the take down of mankind. But once the dust and walking corpses settle, I would have to hope the remaining population would consist of those intelligent enough to not have their heads buried in their phones or up their own asses.

I know, I know — this sounds horrible, mean, rash, and probably makes you want to smack me upside the face with a ten ton chum bucket. But deep down, inside your secret yummy place, you know you feel the same way. Like me, you hope the apocalypse comes and rids us all of:

  • Reality TV “stars”
  • Corrupt politicians
  • Stupid
  • Carrot Top
  • Drunk drivers
  • People that text and drive
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Bigots
  • Racists
  • Homophobes
  • The color khaki
  • Snooki

Okay, okay… I know the apocalypse won’t rid us of bigots, racists, and homophobes; but I have to keep hope alive that some day the world will be without those bastardizations of thought.  And, no, I really don’t  hope the apocalypse does arrive to cleanse the world — although I do believe it will, at some point,  happen. When it does happen, I certainly hope the world learns a serious lesson from the devastation it brings. That lesson is this — Ignorance isn’t “bliss”, it’s a destructive force that will tear the human race apart from the inside out.

Don’t drive drunk, angry, or ignorant.


/end rant.