Accept yourself

The Beastie Boys said in the song ‘Pass the Mic’, “Be true to yourself and you will never fall.” Never were wiser words said by three Jewish rappers from New York City. For me, that kind of mantra has been crucial in the discovery and acceptance of me. I am Jack Wallen and I not only accept myself, I love myself.

How can I say that? Isn’t it a little pompous (with a side of masturbatory gauche) to say one actually loves oneself?


No. No. No. No.

If you hop onto Facebook long enough, you’ll see scores of women empowering themselves in so many ways — and society has come to accept that (as it should). For so long, women have been made to feel (by society and the media) that in order to have any worth you must weigh the same as a duck…

No, that’s a witch. There’ll be no burning here.

…in order for a woman to have worth, they must be skinny, have long blonde hair, and breasts that point to the sun and the stars (no matter what position the body is in).

Eventually, mankind began to see the tragic flaw in that (il)logic and women took back that power and let it be known that everyone can be beautiful (regardless of size, shape, color, or hair structure).

Men? Well, that’s a rough catch 22. Why do I say that? It’s not easy to bemoan life when you’re a part of the privileged “middle class white male” club. But I’ll bemoan it anyway. Why? Because of one, simple thing…

You’ve got to accept yourself.

Be you male, female, fat, skinny, black white, gay, straight, transgender, republican, socialist…Canadian.

I kid my favorite country…with love!

To proclaim “I have never fit in” is bold. Why? Because I could fit in, if I had to. But in the “fitting of in” I wind up selling my soul short. I know this…I know about how long I can tolerate blending in with societal norms before I have to go crazy-ass artiste and mix it up.

I. Know. This. Of. Myself.

How? I spent so many years dissecting my inner being to come to the conclusion that the only way I can survive is to accept myself for who and what I am. Me being who I am not is destructive to the core of me. And when I destroy that, I break through the barriers of truth and form a cold, crunchy shell of lies around me.

Dangerous behavior, that.

If you strip us of our covering — our clothing, our flesh — what we are is the same. At our hearts we are all human. We start out as molecules of matter that, through the process of miosis and mitosis (and other fun bits of science), become bipedal creatures capable of thought, communication, and emotion. We grow and we learn. Through that particular process we learn that appearance and social strata are important to society — so much so, we are willing to constantly remake our own image into that of others…just so we’ll fit in.

Fit. In.

Two words that bear completely different meaning to different people. To those like myself, the idea of fitting in is a lie. To others, fitting in is the only way to function.

It’s all a matter of preference. The problem is, society really only accepts one take on the matter. Society wants us all to fit in. Society wants us to play nice so the machine can work smoothly. But to some, that take on the matter is a sentence to a purgatory that does, in fact, exist.

There is an adage out there…

It takes all kinds.

It really does. The truth of the matter is that without variety (in thought, in condition, in looks, and in nature), the world would wither and die. Without every color of the rainbow, we are nothing but a boring beam of light that serves no purpose other than to illuminate the situation. With the colors harmoniously living together, we are wonder, brilliance, awe.

You are part of that wonder; and there is only one you. All of the yous make up the human race. Without you the world would be that shaft of boring light.

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder…but in the soul, in the heart, in the very fabric of what makes you, you. If you don’t accept yourself, you lesson the brilliance of the human race. We need you to look into the mirror and fall in love with who you are.

You are beautiful. Accept it.