Posts tagged fashion
She was born June 10, 1992. At that time I was midway through graduate school. She’s just a year older than my youngest step child… and she’s the latest cover model for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Her name is Kate Upton. She’s a model. She’s a TEENAGE. And now, she’ll be the object of desire for men across the globe. There is something tragically wrong with that.
That’s right, I’m going there people. You know one of my favorite things is to take that envelope (the one everybody just mindlessly pushes around) and kick it, drown it, draw on it, set fire to it, and generally have my way with it. Why? Because it’s who I am. You will not find a single iota of shirttucker in this guy. What you will find is a strange mixture of chaos that settles down into a nice sense of order. And one of those bits of chaos you will find in me is the desire to wear make up.
Oh no! Here they come, everyone hide! Shhhh, they’ll hear you. You REALLY don’t want that group to know we’re here. Oh, which group am I talking about? I’m talking about that tragically hip subset of the urban middle class adult ironically named “the hipster”. The hipster is one of those people best read about and not experienced. Why? Imagine the beat poet, the punk, the grunge kiddie, and the intelligentsia all wrapped up into one skinny-jean-clad, ironic package. That is the hipster. But are all hipsters created equal? Not necessarily.
Snootchy Bootchy! No, not talkin’ ’bout THAT kinda mary jane. Though one would think a permanent passenger on the dark hayride would have dipped his purple-laquered toes into those tie-dyed waters of munchy-inducing goodness — not so, not so. My lovelies, the Mary Jane I so fondly speak of is…wait for it…the shoe.
I know, this isn’t really fair of me to sample you a book that isn’t for sale yet. But Shero is almost ready for you and you really need to get to know him now. After all, the man who will be saving your butt from evil will be wearing a Vera Wang and Jimmy Choos — so you best get used to it. Laugh on my friends, laugh on.