Today’s Misfit Monday is a very special look inside the mind and heart of yours truly. You may be asking “What the hell?” and to that I would answer, “Have you ever known a writer?” If you have have known a writer, you then know we are some crazy-ass people. Some of us hear voices (not in the Schizophrenic way). Some of us live a life of serious distraction. But most of us will eventually confess to you, we have a few different people living inside of us (not in the multiple personality disorder kinda way.) One of my particular brain dwellers happens to be a teenage rocker chick. She kicks serious ass, dresses like she doesn’t give a damn what you think, and will flip you the bird any chance she gets.
Let’s get to know her, shall we?
Most of us have alter egos. We have dark passengers who ride along side us, waiting for the golden opportunity to leap out and take control of the situation. I have one of those as well, but we’re not talking about him. The personality we’re talking about is a young girl who would rather sneer at you and crank up her music to drown out the incessant droning coming from your pie hole. She looks like Hayley Williams (from Paramore), rocks the Gibson Les Paul like Joan Jett, and styles around like…well…like no one else.
That’s right, she’s her own style and no one dare copy her, else they risk losing a part of the pride they may never get back.
One day you might see her rockin’ the skinny jeans and tutu with a band Tee and the next a sundress. But one of the key components of her fashion is her Chuck Taylors. She goes nowhere without them…except to bed (and when she goes there, she goes with nothing but her skin suit).
If my inner rocker chick put an ad up on a singles site, it would go something like this:
Like kick ass music?
Like chicks that can kick your ass?
If not, what the fuck are you reading this ad for?
She’s a saucy one, that inner rocker chick.
So… we know what kind of clothes she’s frequent to sport, but what kind of music does she listen to? Can you guess? Did you say “Kick ass music”? If so, you’re 100% correct. But “kick ass music” is an awfully subjective term. Let me channel the girl so I can list out the bands that are on her current playlist:
- In This Moment
- Picture Me Broken
- Joan Jett
- Dum Dum Girls
See a theme above? If you don’t, Google it and find out yourself — my inner rock chick won’t let me tell you (she’s in a mood)!
I decided to do a brief interview (you can only get her attention for spits and spurts) with my inner rock chick. This is the first time she has ever even indirectly spoken to the public… consider yourself warned and lucky.
JW: So, what’s it like living inside the head of Jack Wallen?
IRC: Seriously? You’re asking me what it’s like to live inside a dude’s head? It’s alright. I guess it could be worse. I mean, seriously, the dude could just be thinking “Tits, tits, tits, sammich, tits, football, ass, tits, SQUIRREL!” I’ve been in other dudes minds, that’s what it’s usually like.
JW: So he’s not like other men?
IRC: Dude, you’re talking in third person.
JW: I know. It’s fun.
IRC: You’re weird.
JW: Am not… oh yeah, I guess I am. Okay, describe you’re idea man.
IRC: Big foot.
JW: Big foot? I don’t understand.
IRC: Big foot doesn’t exist.
JW: I don’t follow.
IRC: The ideal man doesn’t exist. Are you daft?
JW: So now you’re british?
IRC: Piss off! I’ll be whatever I want. I live in your head after all.
Annnnnd, I pissed her off. She’s gone. Well, she’s still there, she’s just no longer willing to speak to you at the moment. Well, that was fun.
Well, you now have a bit more insight into what makes Jack Wallen tick. Maybe next time I’ll introduce you to Demonseed the Clown. Or maybe not. That could get seriously dangerous.