Fabulous Friday: All hail the Mary Jane


Snootchy Bootchy! No, not talkin’ ’bout THAT kinda mary jane. Though one would think a permanent passenger on the dark hayride would have dipped his purple-laquered toes into those tie-dyed waters of munchy-inducing goodness — not so, not so. My lovelies, the Mary Jane I so fondly speak of is…wait for it…the shoe.

Believe it or not, the Mary Jane started out gender-neutral shoe as worn by the comic book characters Mary Jane and Buster Brown (created by Richard Outcault). Take a look at that bizzarro comic trip to the left…that’s Buster Brown being manipulated by The Man! What’s Buster wearing? Mary Janes! Are they fabulous? Hell yes!

Naturally, as things are wont to do, a┬ádastardly gender was assigned the shoe and from that point forward — society frowned on anyone that didn’t sport breasts wearing the shoe of shoes.

Men … we miss out on so much. Don’t believe me? Well, I dare you to gaze upon the shoe to the right and NOT long to know it’s fabulousness. Don’t lie to Shero — you KNOW you want to slide your foot into that glittery goodness. Too much heel for you? Not MAN enough to run in three-inch-tastic Mary Janes? Shero mocks you. Okay, not really. Shero understands full well that some people just don’t have the cahones (or the calves) for such a feat.

Sigh. Anyways…

The Mary Jane has very much been adopted by certain cross sections of society (other than drag queens — where is your mind?). One of my favorites is the pinup girl. If you are unfamiliar with pinup girls you don’t know what you’re missing. Curva-licious women dolling up in amazing dresses, hair styles, and make up — with a totally rockin’ style that will knock your socks off (Side note: If you’re wearing socks with your Mary Janes — I must call fashion faux pas!)

If you’re looking for some smexy as hell fashion to get your pinup on, give Pinup Girl Clothing a go. PGC is both Shero and Zombie King approved and makes him (as Shero and the Zombie King are one and the same) go rowr over and over.

Gaze upon the pinup goodness! Dare you avert your eyes! Dress? Check. Hair? Check. Mary Janes — CHECK CHECK CHECK!

The look you see to the left is fully endorsed by the Zombie King (and given a hearty “You go girl!” by Shero). It is, in a word, fabulous.

But don’t think one must get their goth on to don the MJ. The Mary Jane is a very┬áversatile weapon in the fashion arsenal. With a simple shoe, an outfit can go from cutesie to vampy (or vice versa).

Wear it, love it

The Mary Jane will make you fabulous — of that there is no denying. So when you’re feeling like it might be a bad hair day, you’re about to start your period (or your wife or girlfriend is about to start HER period), or it’s just looking like a bad day in general, slap a pair of MJs on your feet and rock the smexy! And when in the court of the Zombie King (or at the Society Of Super Heroes), those Mary Janes are sure to please.