Archive for May, 2012
Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all genders…I give unto you that magical, mysterious, uber smexy superhero that crosses gender and makes everything fabulous! That’s right, Shero II!
Zombies!!! That’s right, they’re real now. The news is as old as your grandmas granny panties (redundant much?), but it’s so bizarre to most that people seem to be having trouble wrapping their living brain tissue around it. The scene was just as if it were pulled from the I Zombie series — a naked man enraged, takes down another man and begins dining….on his face.
Dare I try to introduce the one…the only? I don’t think so. Besides, anything I could say would only pale in comparison to the brilliant reality that is the queen of awesomestuff – Jessica McHugh! Let’s get this woman Jack’d!
Ask anyone who knows me to describe what sets me apart and I’m fairly certain the answer will be passion. I’m not talking about the passion one finds tucked within the underpants of erotica or romance novels (though I have that passion as well). The passion I refer to is that passion as defined by Merriam Webster dictionary as:
Intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction
And when you ask those people, they will most likely say I am a man of many passions. But this post isn’t just about those things that I am passionate about. I want to give myself a chance to speak out to anyone who might call themselves an artist to beg of you to dig deeply into the wells of your own passion.
Recently I had the pleasure of teaching a three-day acting bootcamp to the core actors at Lexington, Kentucky’s Screampark. I wanted to share with you not only the experience, but wonder and joy that is those that work tirelessly to create haunted attractions.
Another working day has ended
Only the rush hour hell to face
Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes
Contestants in a suicidal race
Lyrics from Synchronicity, by the Police. We all know exactly what they are referring to. Lemmings have been been ill-perceived as a rodent that does little more than follow its fellow rodentia — even to their death. There is no truth to that myth, but the image holds strong. When you see one person doing nothing more than what the person in front them is doing, you think Lemming.
Annnnd we’re back with another episode of Get Jack’d. This time around I have the pleasure of jacking fellow author du’ grim Axel Howerton. As everyone on the Jackverse knows, the getting of jack’d is a deep, funky process… so let’s skip the pleasantries and get knee deep into the big funky.
Last night, I was brushing my teeth when it hit me — an idea for a new book. No, the new book had squadoosh to do with brushing teeth, dentifrice, flouride, choppers, or teeth in general. The idea, however, excited the crap out of me (and the toothpaste, as I hurried to get to my laptop to make notes before the idea slipped away) and I knew it was a book that I had to write and write soon.
Shortly after that little moment, inspiration hit me again… this time as I was writing what I thought was going to be the final scene in the upcoming fourth novel of the I Zombie series (Lie Zombie Lie). That inspiration made me realize that Lie Zombie Lie wasn’t ready for the final scene — there was more nomming goodness to be had.
Warning: This is a rant. I was chatting with a chum the other day about how smart phones have made people incredibly stupid. Don’t believe me? Sit at the intersection of a major stop light and count how many drivers have their faces buried in their “smart” phones. When the light turns green, check out the percentage of people that KEEP their eyes glued to those tiny screens yet press their gas pedal of their mult-ton monsters as if they could control those machines with their mind.
In what dimension is that smart? On what planet would those people be considered to help further the population?
As a writer of horror (and other fabulousness) I often get asked where it all stems from. Was it a fractured and frightening childhood? Was it a tragedy that occurred later in life? Or was it just a normal evolution? And, what was the first horrific moment you can recall? That question is more important than you might expect. Why? That first experience with true fright worms its way under the skin and soul and sticks with you throughout the span of your life.
With that in mind, I thought I’d share with you my first horrific memory that may well have shaped my mind into the twisted thing I enjoy today.
Disclaimer: These letters are fiction. They are meant for entertainment purposes and are only loosely based on real killers.
John Wayne Gacy, aka The “Killer Clown”. Few men illicit such revulsion as he. A rapist and murderer of young boys and men, Gacy buried his victims within the crawl space of his home – creating a morbid cemetery for all to walk upon. The stench of death permeated Gacy’s abode and drove away visitors with its rank pall. But something about Gacy drew people in. He was charitable, kind to strangers (unless you happened to be a young boy), and even enjoyed a short-lived political career.
As you know, I write a lot about the apocalypse. So much so, some days I feel as if I’ve actually lived through it. Because of this, I get asked a lot of questions. Most of the questions are about zombies, how best to kill them, and how do I really think they’ll come about. But every once in a while someone will ask me how I plan on getting around once the Big A happens. Well, I have a simple answer for that — Bike.
Nope, I’m not talkin’ Harley or Crotch Rocket. I’m talking one of the single most elegant and efficient forms of transportation ever made. The bicycle.
What is better than a glorious spring day filled with bunnies, kittens, and Jackie Chan marathons? Oh! How did you guess? It’s a free copy of A Blade Away! Friday and Saturday (5/4/12 and 5/5/12) A Blade Away will be free for the taking on Amazon.com.
It never ceases to amaze me how many readers, fans, friends, and sundry unmentionables ask me my take on vampires. Am I a fan? Do I like Twilight? Where is the genre heading? What’s my favorite vampire book/movie/story/etc? Well, I thought it would finally put those questions to the grave by simply answering them here — in the big seeping eye of the masses, where the court of public opinion can either hang me or huzzah me.
Shall we count the claims I stake on the beloved Vampire? Muhaha?